Artistic Identity Crisis

I'm having an artistic identity crisis and it's keeping me paralyzed. I strive to be inspiring, uplifting and positive but I often get dragged back into my default mode (weird, dark sense of humor, openly sarcastic... basically the things that made me not so popular back in high school...)

My question is this: How do you express yourself, balance the art that people want to consume, streamline your ideas, express what comes out of you and have it not just be a giant pile confusing rubbish? How do you settle on one tiny area of your creativity that people want to consume and be a part of? Do you ignore everything else or lock it in a closet? Advice please!

I feel like I've been super great at producing a giant stream of consciousness that people then look at and go "huh?" I feel a little like the queen of bi-polar art-making at the moment. Art should reflect what's happening in the world and your expression of it - right? But when I look at my own stuff I am confused. Am I colorful and uplifting? Am I dark and morose? Am I all these things? Can all of these things co-exist? (I mean they obviously do in my deep, dark psyche...)

Then there's this doozy: Do I even have a right to be create anything at all? Lately I have been so overwhelmed by the thought that my "privilege" doesn't give me the right to bother. And the world - oh the world. I don't think people were designed to consume EVERYTHING in the world and still be able to function. I most certainly was not.

I'm feeling less than inspired and even less inspiring these days. I am sure this too shall pass, but I'd like to get on with it already. My patience with my artistic self is wearing thin. 

We all have less-than-inspiring days... 

or weeks...

or months...

...

...Right?

© 2017 Krysta Bernhardt. All Rights Reserved.

Illustration by Krysta Bernhardt #uncertainty