Sometimes Being an Adult Just Sucks

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There are fancy, funny memes all over the interwebs about it. It’s not a new concept. But now we have funny memes and whiny blogs and social media and websites devoted to the concept to help us commiserate and connect about it…

ADULTING SUCKS.

On the days when I feel fit and happy and productive, I can kick adulthood’s ASS. Sometimes I kick it so hard that it’s the one whining in a whiny blog on the internet. But unfortunately, not every day works like that. Some days I despondently stare down a life with a to-do list of obligations and responsibilities that is so many miles long that I can’t ever see the end of it. 

Some days I am on my A-game and I cook chicken breasts and fresh veggies and I eat salads and drink sparkling water all day. My kids have well balanced meals and milk with lunch and vitamins at breakfast and everyone is healthy and energized! Some days I eat nothing but empty carbs and let myself get so amped on coffee that I come crashing down to a low that is past low by the mid afternoon. I drag myself to my kids’ activities where I sit waiting, trying to be productive, but really ultimately trying not to fall asleep. Then I feed my kids yet another plate of chicken nuggets and turn a blind eye when they don’t eat their peas because I just don’t have the energy to fight that fight today.

Some days I am super mom. I’m kind and warm and I bake cookies and we do creative projects together and the pantry is stocked with all of their favorite snacks. The house is clean and we all get along. Some days I worry all day about the state of my kids… their physical health, their mental health, their addiction to video games… questions swirl in my head: will they ever spell ANYTHING correctly? Will they EVER pick up after themselves? Will they EVER grow up to be responsible, self-motivated people or will they live in my basement until they are 40 and then inherit this crappy townhouse that they won't know how to take care of because I never taught them how to use a hammer? 

Some days the dishes are clean, the counters are clear and dinner is shopped for, prepped and cooked with enough motivation left over to clean everything up after. Some days I skip meals and stare at the giant pile of dirty dishes and instead of eating a healthy snack and chipping at them, I just walk out of the kitchen without eating because I don’t want to add to the problem and somehow I think that if I just leave it there it will make everything go away. (Newsflash: that never works). 

Some days I rock at my job. I’m on every detail and working ahead of deadlines. I’m supporting fellow team members and learning new skills. Some days I just don’t ever want to be told what to do. Ever. Again. I just want to run screaming into a forest. I want to sell everything I own and move my entire family to a tiny cabin and grow a garden and never call anyone ever again.

Some days I am the best daughter in the world. I visit and I call regularly and I bring thoughtful gifts and work really hard to include my aging parents in the lives of my growing kids. Some days I avoid calling because their decline makes me so supremely sad that I know if I talk to them I won’t have enough energy to get through the rest of my already over-packed adult life. Then the guilt sets in.

Some days I feel motivated to keep my house tidy and clean and smelling good. Some days I don’t even realize how bad it smells because I was working so hard at my mega to do list that I didn’t even realize it was a nice day out and that I could’ve/should’ve opened the window to let in a little fresh air.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my life. I really do. And most days in my tiny corner are positive and full of rainbows. Many days I am the queen of positivity (crown and all). Ultimately though, everyone has bad days. Everyone has days when being an adult is just… sucky. 

Whine.
Whine.
Whine.

Ultimately though, you have to keep going. Stopping is a luxury. Whining is a luxury. So you do what you need to do to keep working, keep parenting, keep cleaning and balancing and doing and being. And some days are amazing and some days just aren’t. Some days there's sunshine and rainbows and perfect moments and other days there is not enough coffee or wine in the world to take away the sting of being a grown up.

But here we are. Adults. Doing, trying, working and being. Pretending to know what is up with it all and trying to look as graceful, relaxed and pretty as we can while we do it. Then we can post a picture of our bestest moments on social media so everyone hopefully doesn’t catch on to the fact that maybe we don’t all have it TOTALLY together. (Imagine if everyone caught on that EVERYONE is a total mess in some part of their lives! I think a black hole might open up and the universe would implode.)

So I'm off to "adult" now. And whatever the day holds for you... good luck with that. And know that you are in good company.

A whole lot of us are out here faking this whole adult thing right alongside you. 

 

 

© 2017 Krysta Bernhardt. All Rights Reserved.

 

 

Illustration by Krysta Bernhardt  #anxiety